Win @ Work and Life podcast with Nikki Bush

Would your daughter rather be hot than smart?

"Sadly, this is what we are seeing in young girls and children today - a complete dependence on external validation and affirmation."

Jane Dutton was in conversation with human potential and parenting expert, Nikki Bush.

Would your daughter rather be hot than smart? If she does, it's probably because the first comment she hears when she meets people concern her looks, her hair and what she is wearing. Let's not forget the social media generation is all about posting the perfect look and getting likes and follows because of it.

Girls are being trained to look for external affirmation and validation from all quarters and we need to make sure we see girls and women as way more than just their outward appearance.

Seek to discover the essence of every human being you encounter, woman or man, girl or boy. This is who they are, what makes them tick, what they value, what interests them, what they are good at, their opinions, their experiences and so much more.

"Hello you beautiful woman!" can refer to way more than just a body, but to an entire being who is made up of so many different and interesting facets. 

 

Ep 51. Leveraging Difference

Can it be another way? This has been my most thought-provoking question of the year and it has yielded interesting answers. It’s so easy to get trapped in your own corner of the world, the way you see things, and sometimes that can be unbelievably limiting. This thought is key to my podcast conversation around diversity, inclusion and equality.

 

Leveraging difference is a critical key in building a strong business today. Every member of a team brings uniqueness in some form or another. How are you harnessing and leveraging difference and overcoming unconscious bias (we all have it).

 

In this Win @ Work and Life podcast episode I chat to Dharshni Padaychee, Transformation, Inclusion and Equality Lead at Rand Merchant Bank. I have worked with Dharshni and her team over a number of years and I always keep a look out for her posts on LinkedIn which showcase so much innovation in the diversity, inclusion and equality space. You will hear from the conversation, how passionate Dharshni is about her field and why she chose to shift her focus from accountancy to people.

Ep 50. Does becoming a parent impact on your career prospects?

When you become a parent in the workplace there's a lot of fear and stigma around what will this mean for your career and for your progress, especially for women. "Will I be able to continue to do my job? Will I be overlooked for promotions? What will happen to my career aspirations? Will I be a good enough parent? How can I do it all and still stay sane?" These are just some of the questions that come to mind.

Parental transition coaching provides business continuity and talent retention long into the future, and is a must for organisations that invest in their people. Maternity and paternity coaching are the new kids on the block in the diversity and inclusion space. They are a real thing that is having really positive impact, according to my podcast guest, Gillian Cederwall.

Gillian is an executive coach and director of Great Expectations, a transitions coaching company with blue chip clients who swear by the impact that these programmes have had on their talent retention pipeline.

This conversation covers:

• Why becoming a parent shouldn't mean the end of your career advancement
• Why maternity and paternity coaching is so important
• Why such coaching is important each time you have a baby and as your children change ages and stages
• Helping moms and dads maintain their career aspirations
• How employers can invest in their talent pipeline with transition coaching
• Creating harmony between balance, challenge and authenticity and how this changes over time
• Relational, practical and emotional shifts that come with parenting

Quotes from Gillian Cederwall

"The shift to motherhood is the biggest pinch point in a female's career, and this is a very transformational phase for her.... she's gone from focused career woman to working mom with expanded responsibilities. And you've got to get your head around that."

"Research shows that the line manager influences whether she stays or goes 50:50, which is huge in terms of her successful return."

"By owning the conversation a woman has with her line manager, owning her exit and owning her reentry, it really is subtly influencing the culture for working parents for the better. "

Mums and dads, I would love to hear what has worked for you in terms of transitioning into parenthood and back to work again. Some of my clients had babies during lockdown and felt very fortunate that both parents were working from home at the time and could both participate in raising their children day and night, not missing out on any milestones.  Drop me an email to info@nikkibush.com

Ep 49. Another Set Of Lenses

"Why is anyone the richer for even 30 seconds spent with me?" This simple and thought-provoking question will help you define the value you add to other people's lives and comes from my podcast guest and leadership expert, Steve Hall, who is often described as a deep thinker and inspirational storyteller.

Steve believes in the extraordinary potential of human energy and how it is the key to high performance at all levels.  It is this work which gives him his reason for being. He is committed to helping people shift their perceptions and paradigms about the world and each other by using another set of lenses. 

Steve has a passion for immersive leadership work, which started with education and training company I Will Not Complain, in China and The Covey Leadership Centre in the US. He was part of bringing the Covey franchise to Africa. Has run hundreds of workshops all over the world, helping individuals, teams and organisations to become more effective in the lives they lead and in their dynamics towards one another. He as been a partner in Lead with Humanity for the last 10 years and has designed and delivered more than 50 leadership weeks across the African continent.

This podcast covers:

• How our conditional thinking limits us
• Thinking paradigms and how they influence our behaviour
• How our thinking polarities are neither right nor wrong - they co-exist like breathing in and out, but they are the root cause of our responses and behaviour.
• The six blue pictures of an expansive and friendly world filled with possibility and opportunity and a disconnected world.The six red pictures of a small, finite, unfriendly
• How to take responsibility for your own human energy battery
• The importance of leading yourself and others

A few quotes from Steve Hall:

"I don't remember who said it, but I'm sure it's been said by many people that the shortest distance between two people is a story. The minute I get to know your story, and you get to know my story, we reduce complexities. We reduce the picture that some of us are better than others. We learn about the challenges that other people have been through and continue to go through. And the minute I've got that and I've got that curiosity, surely then we become closer together. Surely it means that we can in fact, work more cooperatively together and celebrate the fact that each of us comes from a very different place."

"If I've constantly got to play power over people using manipulation and coercion, it's an expensive process. It really is draining on our batteries."

"I think it is our responsibility to act in the moment, to act for what's good, to see life through that other set of lenses and say, I wonder if my action now might have recurring or repercussion events down the line."

Ep 48. Leadership Advice: Speak Human

Three great pieces of advice for anyone leading others from our podcast guest, Juliette Jenner, today: 

• Be smart with humans - speak human.
• In doing it, you become it.
• You don’t need to be the smartest person in the room

Juliette Jenner is a coach, speaker, actress and founder of The Dynamic Voice Company. She is way more than a physical voice coach, she is a weaver of personal and professional development magic. 

Juliette helps business leaders find their authentic CEO voice to enable them to maximise peak opportunity moments in their careers. This includes deep work around understanding how power and energy shifts and moves, crafting your narrative and defining your unique contribution. 

Juliette believes there is no point in having power, presence and impact if it doesn’t create a sense of joy and fulfilment. Listen in…

Ep 47. A Small Tree Can’t Grow In The Shadow Of A Big Tree.

She’s warm. She’s funny. She’s genuine. And she loves sloths for some reason known only to her. Join me for this podcast episode as I chat with Yael Geffen about the link between embracing and managing mental health issues and authentic leadership. She has dealt with suicide and loss as well as bipolar disorder.

This small, dynamic, charismatic business leader starts off the conversation by saying that a small tree can't grow under a big tree. It’s a really empowering statement for any leader or parent, acknowledging that we have to make space for the people around us to grow.

Yael is the CEO and a shareholder of Lew Geffen Sotheby’s International Realty, as well as a member of the Europe, Middle East, India and Africa region task force for Sotheby’s International Realty. She was the winner of the 2020 Standard Bank’s prestigious Top Woman in Property Award and was chosen to represent South Africa as a speaker for the World Leaders Summit in November 2021.

Before stepping into the property world, Yael discovered herself in the US, where she was a shoe packer in a factory, a receptionist, a producer in an animation studio and more. It’s these experiences that shaped her. As I always say, no experience is ever wasted or forgotten.

This conversation covers:
 

• Being born into a real estate dynasty and finding her own voice
• The importance of doing ‘little jobs’ and how they prepare you for the ‘big jobs.’
• Living and leading with bipolar disorder
• How you can make ‘your mess your message 
• Turning ‘your burden into your brilliance.’
• Managing and leading human beings with a human touch
• Motherhood and authenticity
• Motherhood and boundaries
• Winning awards and using the experience to promote diversity and inclusion
• Her experience with Auschwitz’s survivor, psychologist and author, Dr Edith Eger

A few quotes from Yael:

On the matter of family businesses: 

”A small tree can’t grow in the shadow of a big tree.”

 So did I want to be in real estate?

”Hell, no. In fact, I escaped to the States to avoid this very fact and I just wanted to find out who I was. I wanted to find out what it's like to be anonymous and not Lew and Sandy Geffen's daughter. And it was the most beautiful experience. I spent four years in New York City doing many different things, even packing shoes in a shoe factory in Queens, which I absolutely loved.

“When you're the chairman's daughter and you are a female in a male dominated industry and you're very young (I was 38 when I took over as CEO), you have some challenges. And for me, I knew I had it in myself to do the job. I just needed the credibility among not only the industry, but my own network. Winning the top woman in property award was just that. It was a wonderful opportunity to garner more support and promote women in leadership. For my network, there were incredible women alongside me.”
 
“Everyone has a story, everyone has baggage. And sometimes it's a beautiful thing to make your mess your message (I stole that line from Lori Milner), obviously without devaluing your brand and your company. So there is a fine line. But, you know, the people that I love the most are the messiest.”
 
“My mission is to reduce the stigma and to inspire others to come forward….And if you look at the most historical figures of our society, whether it's Churchill, whether it's comedians like Robin Williams, they were touched with fire and they made such an impact in the world.”

“Accountability is such an important part of leadership. It's such an important part of being a good parent. Such an important part of being in a relationship, in a family. So be accountable.”

Ep 46. Dancing on Tables

Picture this: It’s 1997, I am dancing like no one’s watching on top of a table, and I feel someone pulling my jeans to grab my attention. I look down, and it was the queen bee of all Marketing Managers, my heart stopped as I came down from the table, and she says to me with a puzzled look on her face, “Why are you not this vibrant person at work?”

The answer was that I somehow believed that I could not bring my bubbly, vivacious self to work because I thought I would not be taken seriously and would be perceived as unprofessional. I imagined only being able to thrive if I appeared to be someone else.

I wonder if you keep the real you hidden at work. Do you?

In this episode I chat to Andrea Quaye, Senior Director, Global Category Lead Coffee at the Coca-Cola Company (she recently located to Dublin to take up this position). The above excerpt is from a fabulous article she published on LinkedIn entitled Dancing on Tables.

Ep 45. Raising The Volume On Gender Mainstreaming

Want to know how to create sustainable advancement of women instead of just paying lip service the women empowerment conversation? This is as far from ‘woe is me, I am a victim of gender bias’ as you can get.

Join me for this podcast as I chat to Colleen Larsen, Chief Executive of Business Engage. She has the keys to the vault of what’s really going on in gender mainstreaming in Africa.

Beyond activism, there are some really amazing shifts taking place, particularly in Africa. In fact Colleen is on a mission to make this content the gender hub for the world. “We have amazing stories to share. Let’s export them rather than importing them!”

Ep 44. How are you filling the hole in your soul?

Killing Caroline and Mad, Bad Love are the provocative book titles that track the life journey of my podcast guest, Sara-Jayne Makwala King. She’s an ward-winning radio presenter, best-selling author, journalist and public speaker.

Sara-Jayne was conceived across the color line in what was then, Apartheid South Africa. She was whisked out of the country by her white British mother and put up for adoption in the UK. She lost her identity before she was born.

Her writing is based on the evolution of her personal story. Much of Sarah-Jayne’s work focuses on issues of race, indentity, adoption, addiction recovery and mental health. They don’t just touch a sub-set of society, they affect us all.

If you have a hole in your soul for any reason, the chances are that you have developed some kind of addiction to stop the gap even if it’s not drugs, sex and alcohol.

Ep 43. The Rise of a Powerful Woman, From the bedroom floor to African Star

Want some inspiration from a 'can do' woman? Armed with just R1 000 in her pocket, a laptop and a cellphone, and sitting on her bedroom floor, Farah Fortune famously started African Star Communications in 2008. 

Today, Farah Fortune is a well-known businesswoman behind many successful corporate and celebrity brands throughout Africa. She is better known to her clients and the industry as The Pitbull in Heels. Her email signature says describes her as Defender of the Galaxy.
 
I first met Farah when we were sitting next to each other at a Woman of Worth networking dinner with the inimitable women's empowerment champion, Margaret Hirsch. What struck me at that time about Farah was her humility, clarity and feminity. 

The Pitbull in her points to how she gets results for her clients. The Defender in her refers to her commitment to empowering women and marginalised communities.

She says, "Being a powerful woman is only valid if you use that power to help other women."

Listen to this inspiring conversation that covers:

• Starting a business in a man's world
• Barriers to entry
• Advice for female entrepreneurs
• Using one's platform and success to help other women
• Changing narratives that no longer serve us
• What drives Farah to succeed

EP 42. Build your resilience: Unblind the mind

Who knew a black, blind boy could make a living from speaking and chasing a ball? Out of darkness cometh light.

Listen to my latest podcast interview with Darren Harris, double paralympian (soccer and judo), motivational speaker, workshop facilitator, transformational coach and founder of Unblind the Mind. He believes that the eyes are useless if the mind is blind.

Ep 41. Adversity is necessary for growth

Has your life unfolded in a straight line? The truth is it doesn’t, either at work or in life, for most people. In fact, a bit of adversity is necessary for growth. The resistance that comes with adversity can galvanise you and push you forward. It can help you make different decisions, raise your determination or even change your game.
 
In his book, Happiness from the Inside Out: the art and science of fulfilment, Robert Mack says: “All great champions, most of whom are optimists, have become great because – not in spite of – great adversity.
 
Adversity and resistance is sometimes exactly what we need. Without it there would be no need to learn anything new or do anything differently. 
 
You make the path by walking on it. Keep walking.

Ep 40. Shaming Shame with Madeleine Black

We all hold secrets and shame for lots of different reasons. And we all have a fear of being found out. If you are trying to hide your trauma and shame, much like trying to hold a beach ball under water, it's futile and will steal your life force.

In this podcast episode I speak to Madeleine Black, an author, speaker, sexual violence activist, former psychotherapist and host of the acclaimed international podcast called Unbroken: healing through storytelling.

After decades of silence, Madeleine decided to share her own story publicly online in September 2014. And she completely underestimated what the response would be. She published her book Unbroken in 2017, a must read.

Madeleine is passionate about speaking out to end the shame, stigma and silence surrounding sexual violence and to help others find their courage and voice too.

Ep 39. Make a choice to make a change.

If you have a pulse you have a purpose. I just love this line from my podcast guest this week, Angelique du Toit. So what is your purpose, regardless of what you have been through in your life; what keeps you here and keeps you going?

In this episode you will hear that fear is a force that you can either confront or run away from. You will be challenged about whether you are operating from inspiration or desperation, that you have to be in it to win it and you have to make a choice to make a change. 

Angelique du Toit is a global speaker who has travelled the ups and downs of life and shares her wisdom and insights with such eloquence. She entered the world of work at the age of 14 out of necessity, as an apprentice hairdresser, coming from a background of abuse. She describes some of her crossroad moments in which she chose to do life differently, pulling her back from the brink of despair. 

After her husband, Ernest's sudden passing at the end of 2019, Angelique was wrapping up his affairs in Italy in early 2020 when the global pandemic lockdown came into force. She spent most of that year isolated and grieving alone. Her mantra that I remember from the first talk of hers that I attended many years ago was to be put to the test once again, under extreme conditions: You win or you lose by the way that you choose.

Listen, learn and be inspired by our conversation.

Ep 38. What deserves your attention?

If you want to reframe your relationship with time, intention and attention, then listen in to this fascinating conversation between Nikki Bush and Shelmina Abji about how to bring your A-game to both work and life. Her personal leadership principles apply to everyone, and focus on how we give intention to our time and attention. Is what you are involved in or committed to actually worthy of your attention?

Shelmina Abji is a gender equality in leadership advocate, author, speaker, former IBM VP. She is an angel investor and board member including the United Nations Foundation project, Girl Up. Shelmina has walked the walk from the dusty plains of Tanzania, where she was born, to the board rooms of top companies around the world, becoming one of the highest-ranking women of colour in IBM.

For more information visit https://shelmina.com or www.nikkibush.com

THE CONVERSATION COVERS:

• How women short-change themselves
• Stepping into your fear to grow and succeed
• Managing your mental chatter
• Developing your power quotient
• Giving intention to your time and attention
• Saying no without demeaning yourself or being apologetic
• Say not to gain respect and create space for yes
• Beware of the task trap
• How to go from busy to productive
• Your evolving picture of success

Ep 37. Sharpen your sales skills - everyone is in sales!

Whether you work in sales or not, everyone is in sales. Yes, even you! We are all promoting something to get support or buy in from someone. Business leaders and managers are selling a vision to get commitment and performance from their teams. Sales people sell products and services. Sports captains sell victory. Educators sell how to think and learn. Parents sell values and how to be in relationships. What are you selling?

Embrace the salesperson in you. Listen to my podcast interview with the tenacious and dynamic guru of sales, Shelley Walters. She is passionate about sales and shares her four Cs for sales success that you can apply to all areas of your life to build in more success and more margin: clarity, conviction, competence and confidence.

I have added a fifth C - contribution. If you can go to bed at night knowing that what you are selling is making a contribution to the world; making people's lives better in some way, then you can rest well at night. 

Shelley Walters, is a speaker and the Founder of The Sales Counsel;  creator of Africa's first Remote Selling School (accredited by the IISA); a sop Sales Keynote Speaker and winner of the PWC Gender Mainstreaming Award in the category "Inclusive Leader - Entrepreneur" 

In this conversation we cover:

• Why everyone is in sales
• Why a stint in sales is a good foundation for anyone wanting to start their own business
• Why sales is an essential economic service – the success of job creation and the economy hinges on the success of sales people
• Why sales people will survive the fourth industrial revolution
• The four Cs of sales:
  • Clarity
  • Conviction
  • Competency
  • Confidence
• Assertiveness and negotiation skills
• The link between sales and personal growth and development
• The difference between manipulation and motivation
• How to be a contributor through sales

www.thesalescounsel.co.za or www.shelleywalters.com

 

Ep 36. Are you at a crossroad moment? Yes or no. Commit or walk away

When have you taken a risk, changed direction or taken a leap of faith? When has your curiosity been greater than your fear and propelled you forward in your career or business development? Most of our real growth takes place on the fringes of discomfort when we are courageous enough to step into new spaces and do new things or do things differently.

Our lives are characterised by many crossroads moments - moments when we are called to make a decision. Yes or no. Commit or walk away. I shared a crossroad moment from my professional life with an online audience recently that I thought I would share this vulnerable conversation with you today.
  
Are you at a crossroad moment? Is it time for a leap for you? I hope this sharing will inspire you.

Ep 35. Balance Your Busyness Addiction with Rest

An addiction to busyness is becoming a pandemic in its own right. Learning when to stop and rest, or sensing when we need to stop and rest, is almost becoming a form of intelligence – let’s call it the self-care quotient. It requires us to be awake, aware and disciplined. It requires us to look after ourselves!

Last week I ran a poll on LinkedIn that generated plenty of interest and these were the results:
 
What do you most need to ‘weed’ out of your life or let go of, to flourish in 2022? The results below confirmed what I suspected:

• Toxic relationships 27%
• Fear of failure 31%
• Addiction to being too busy 42% 

These are all things that can sabotage our best goals and intentions. I was not surprised that the addiction to being too busy came out ahead. We often use busyness to cover for our fears. If we are busy, we must be okay. If we are busy, we must be being really productive. If we are busy it means we must be successful. Right? Actually, wrong in many instances.

Love yourself enough to build different kinds of rest into your busy schedule beyond going to sleep at night so that you can build in regular 'space' to keep perspective on the questions above. Be aware of your addiction to busyness and make sure you consciously try and balance it out.

In this podcast, I share my journey with busyness addiction and how I try and balance it out with different kinds of rest -- just 20 minutes a day, tops.

Ep 34. SETTING GOALS: DO LESS TO ACHIEVE MORE

Nikki Bush discusses how to narrow down where you decide to focus your energy, effort and attention so that you achieve more. If you are like me, then you probably have too many goals, or a strategy that is not focused enough. You need to pare things down a bit to really win meaningfully in the year ahead. This podcast covers:

• Self-reflection as a starting point
• The importance of writing it all down
• Editing your goals and strategy
• Being realistic
• Questions to help you filter out goals
• Taking things off your list
• Why you don’t have to do everything now
• Talking through your goals and ideas
• Turning goals into strategy
• Why less is more

Ep 33. First Term Jitters

It’s back to school time so we are chatting about how to deal with first term jitters. Did you used to suffer from first term jitters and how is your child handling things?

• Why do children experience first terms jitters?
• Is change good for children?
• What strategies can parents use to help their children stay calm?
• Why is routine so important?
• How can parents help their children keep perspective?
• How does going to school foster independence in children?
• How can parents stay calm?